So one time this woman was learning...

How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? Lots of stuff.

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

Johnny just finished his pie.

How do you kill a blonde? I don't. Murder is a crime.

You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

Why did the baby cross the road? I don't know but it got hit by a semi during.

Why do some RVs have 2 doors? Because 11 would be too many.

Do you know what's funny about the holocaust? Nothing, it was an unspeakably evil act by a deranged man who should never have been given the power to command a nation

Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

What did Niel Patrick Harris do after coming out of the closet? He grabbed his jacket and went for a delightful stroll in the park.

How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

your mom

what do you call a black guy on steroids? a black guy on steroids

A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was wearing a shirt depicting a skull, something six had an irrational phobia of.

Like my status for a tbh?

Knock Knock Whos there Reality* Knock Knock *Opens Door*

Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She's a women.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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