My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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69.9

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What says "Mooo"? A goat with an identity crisis.

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A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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What is the difference between obama and a hobo. NOTHING

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If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

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A man walks into a bar and the the llama next store sprouted wings and flew Then a potato says hi to a iPod but unfortunatly the iPod can't talk. Meanwhile hello kitty and ducks wage a nuclear war and the rise of ostriches Started. The a giant cucumber started falling of mt. Everest and killed many Flying platipuses were saved. Then aliens started invading and the world ended.

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If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops