What's white and moves at a glacial pace? A glacier.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

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what is brown with wheels? a potatoe, i was just kidding about the wheels

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what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

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What kind of cookies does a pedophile order from the girl scouts? Samoas...pedophiles love coconut.

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Q: Whats Faster than a bullet A: A Jew chasing coin

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My room is a mess, Violets are still blue

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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88

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Obama 2012

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Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

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"Welcome to Mcdonalds, Would you like to try our new Chicken BigMac today?" "No"

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Viciously beating your children with other recently beaten children.

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

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What do you call a man who leaves his wife and kids to be with another woman? A dick.

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"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops