A man... walks.

Your mums a penis joke.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he was to busy watching porn. And then was hit by a truck.

How do you know when a ghost is lying? I don't know because I've never met one, so from personal experience I couldn't tell you.

whats black and goes to newy high Manyiel

Whats white and sticky fluff

Q: Why can't a tomato fly a plane? A: Cuz it's a tomato

What is brown red and white? I don't know, that's why I asked you

What's funnier than a dead baby? Everything.

Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

What's utter destruction but still has wheels? A car that was crushed at a junk yard, after the Bridgestone tires were removed for another car that could still use them

A chicken walks into a McDonald's and the cashier asked the chicken what he would like to order. A man waiting for his meal walked out realizing that the employees of this restaurant were not who he wanted making his food.

Do you like cats? You gotta be kitten me.

What did the diabetic boy with Celiac get for christmas? A gift from his loving parents.

What do you call a baby with no future? A baby dying at birth.

Q: Who showed up at the dead soldier's funeral? A The Westboro Baptist Church...

WHAT'S LESS THAN 0? FIONN'S DIGNITY AFTER HENRY'S

If you are riding on a broomstick and it breaks in the middle of the ocean... How many pieces of toast does it take to fill a light house? Purple, because Oranges cannot fly.

But one McDonalds Happy Meal for the price of two, and receive another McDonalds Happy meal absolutley free!

Johnny woke up christmas morning, went downstairs and opened his presents to find he had an iPhone, iPad,Ps3 Laptop, the full lot. Then his mate came around and Johnny bragged about all the stuff he had got. Then his mate replied," I wish i had cancer".

What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

What do you call it when a woman doesn't want the child she is currently impregnated with? Abortion: a very sensitive and controversial topic.

What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

Roused are red violets are blue I just s*** in my own poo

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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