What's clear on the outside and grey on the inside? An elephant in a plastic bag.

A blonde and a brunette are falling from a cliff. They are going to die.

why did the the chicken cross the road? because some sad,board people wanted to make a joke

Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

If Jimmy has $5, and he finds $20 on the street, how much money does Jim have? None. He was mugged by a black man.

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What's up?" The man replies, "The opposite of down."

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

Q.whats black and white and red all over A. half a zebra

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

What's black and hangs from tree's? A suicidal black man.

Knock knock *the family is on vacation and doesn't answer*

Why was timmy having trouble with his homework? Because lobotomies were a forced practice in the 1950's.

You are walking down the street, and a man keeps on getting in your way. You want to politely... Screw it already and stab him in the back

Knock knock Who's there? Taco Taco who? Taco bell

why was the spoiled girl running from her parents? because they weren't her parents, they were kidnappers and were going to sell her into underground sex trafficking markets where she would probably spend the rest of her life being a slave.

Hey Jay, did you here the one about the 3 hookers at the bar? Jay didn't reply because he was deaf

what happens when I bought a car. A man stole it from me and killed my family.

Knock knock "Who's there?" Blood on the Dance Floor "Ha!"

If you peel my skin off, I won't cry, but you will. What am I? A human being with a high pain threshold.

what happens when an Indian walks into a bar? they realize they found there way home

Why do they give old people Viagra at nursing homes? Because erectile function decreases with increasing age, and it would be unfair to needlessly deny senior citizens the right to consensual intercourse if that is what they want.

Why did the Billy flunk the test? His parents were killed in a refridgerator

Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, and the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk.

How did they wake up Lady Gaga? They p-p-poked her face p-p-poked her face......!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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