What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

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Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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