What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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What do you call a half-Latino, half-Asian baby? The product of a healthy interracial couple.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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Justin beiber comment if u get it

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

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knock knock who's there? faith

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Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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