Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers... how about you.

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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my hand is a DOLPHIN!

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If you're having Kony problems, I feel bad for you son. He's stolen 99 kids and your posters saved none.

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What would Jesus do? Something worthy of having him nailed to a cross.

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What did Santa say to the prostitute? "Merry Christmas!"

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Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

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I was Born ready I was born naked.

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Why did Michael Vick run? Because he was being chased by defenders.

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Kyle is consistently sexually harassed by a woman while at work. Everything is fine.

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2 guys are on a scaffolding. One of them says to the other "If you fall from here, theres a high probability you will die"

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Why was Shane cool... Because he was a cool bean.

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What battle did Napoleon die in? His last one.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Tell him that Luigi beat him to the princess

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boy: you want to hear something funny? girl: what? boy: women's rights girl: you want to hear something trivial? boy: what? girl: your penis

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Why did the irishman go to the bar? because he was a designated driver and was picking up his friend.

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What do homeless people get at Christmas? Cold.

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Why did the black guy eat KFC? Cause he was hungry.

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You see how lame this is?

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What is green and had wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.....

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Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere. - Blake Woodman

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops