How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

Canada AYY

An irish man walks into a bar... Hes met with an intervention of family and friends who are all very concerned about his drinking problem and well being.

Without geometry life would be pointless

What did Helen Keller name her dog? ghuieruioytidhfdvbshdkhfjh

A tree fell in the forest. The person in the house it hit heard it.

Saying "MY MOM" everyone time ur asked a question

Why did the Chicken cross the road? He didn't, the farm this chicken was on had fences bordering it to avoid this very situation.

Guy: I have a penis growing out of my crotch. Girl: Hah, sucks to be you! Guy: Yeah.

Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

Do you play piano? No

What did the athletic white boy say to the aids carrying African boy? Ha.

Knock knock Who's there? Honey, just let me in. This bloody game can't go on for an hour. I'm cold out here.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What is green and has weels? A green bycicle.

The Game

What rhymes with popscicle and weighs at least 300 pounds? Your mom. I lied about the popsicle.

So snoop dog drank some milk! :)

Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

What's red and goes pop? A clip art of the word "Pop"

Whats an Anti Joke

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

What did the doctor say to the camel with no hump? You're a horse.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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