What has four legs and one arm? An attack dog in a daycare.

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what do you call a brown man that has been repeatedly shanked and has been fucked up the arse by 10 Rag heads in one night and thrown in a well to slowly and painfully die? Lloyd.

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How does santa deliver presents? He doesn't, because he's not real!

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What do democrats and fire have in common? They both do damage

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why did the plane crash the pilot was Suicidal

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charlie sheen becomes sober.

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What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

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A Vietnam war veteran accidentally goes to a Vietnamese concert and says, "I could take a lot of them down with me."

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I just witnessed a horrible accident today! It was like a silent movie, but with SOUND!!!!

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL Wasted your time didn't I -All the lol post are by me, LOL GUY.

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what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

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how do you get a clown off a swing i dont know but dont call suzy

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AIDS

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what does a squid and a worm have in commen they both are animals

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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Why did the kid eat so much ice cream? Because he wanted to eat ice cream.

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Your Momma's so ugly, she went to the grocery store, and went she got out of her car, people said, "You're ugly."

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split your ass cheek

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What did Madeline McCann get for Christmas? Nothing she's dead.

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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whoa there

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Q: Why isn't Michael Jordan able to jump into space with only 1 leap? A: If that were possible, the supposedly absolute laws of physics would've been irreversibly violated to the full extent that the future of science would be in trouble and the future of some already mentally-unstable people would've been deeply jeopardized to a state that they couldn't naturally recover from.

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Why didn't the Irishman want to drink anymore? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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