What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

knock knock piss off

thumb_up thumb_down +28

have you heard of the new german microwave? it seats about 30

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to order a couple drinks, and shortly leaves after drinking them, later ending up in a fatal car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

its my money!, but i dont need it right away

thumb_up thumb_down +28

In Soviet Russia my freedoms are severally restricted by communism.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red Violets are blue I rather sleep in the class Like a boss in the school -HairyBoss

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the boy cry when he got circumcised? Because he couldn't fap.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

when does lady gaga wake up? when she dreams about a bad romance

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How would you rule?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between Bobby and a plane? Bobby can be sexually molested.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? Oh my god, I thought you said you'd never forget.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

the little pink lady joke: There once was a little pink lady who lived in a little pink house. One day, she was in her little pink bed when her little pink doorbell rang. So she gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, crosses her little pink room, openes her little pink door, goes down her little pink hallway, goes down her little pink stairs, and to her little pink door. She openes her little pink door, and there is a postman standing on her little pink mat. The postman says: "Does Mr Green live here?" The little pink lady said: "No." So she closes her little pink door, goes back up her little pink staircase, down her little pink corridor, into her little pink room, takes off her little pink slippers and hops into her little pink bed. Then her little pink doorbell rings again. So she gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, crosses her little pink room, openes her little pink door, goes down her little pink hallway, goes down her little pink stairs, and to her little pink door. She openes her little pink door, and there is a postman standing on her little pink mat. The postman says: "Does Mr White live here?" The little pink lady said: "No." So she closes her little pink door, goes back up her little pink staircase, down her little pink corridor, into her little pink room, takes off her little pink slippers and hops into her little pink bed. And then her little pink doorbell rings again. So she gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, crosses her little pink room, openes her little pink door, goes down her little pink hallway, goes down her little pink stairs, and to her little pink door. She openes her little pink door, and there is a postman standing on her little pink mat. The postman says: "Does Mr Brown live here?" The little pink lady said: "No." So she closes her little pink door, goes back up her little pink staircase, down her little pink corridor, into her little pink room, takes off her little pink slippers and hops into her little pink bed. Finally, its breakfast time, so the little pink lady gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, goes out of her little pink room and to her little pink kitchen. Inside, there are 3 men. 2 are eating cheerios, 1 is eating an apple. This proves that cheerios are more popular than apples!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I was visiting my grandad the other day and my phone died, I was really bored, he told me I rely too much on technology I replied with 'no you do' and Unplugged his life support

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? I don't know. He couldn't open it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

- What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? - The refrigerator doesn't fart when you take your meat out.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are 3:18 Violets are 3:18 I Just figured out a pattern. And saved peoples lives with the help of Keifer Sutherland.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A horse walks into a bar... The bartender is amazed at the fact that an animal that possesses neither the mental nor the physical abilities to open doors, still managed to enter the bar without breaking anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops