Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

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Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

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CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

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What's worse than being hit with a falling brick? Being hit with many falling bricks. -ilikecrepes97

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

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Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

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women's rights.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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how do you make a blond girl cry? kill her family

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What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

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whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? - The boy scout comes home from camp.

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What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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What did Steven Hawkings say as he fell down the stairs? .................

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A rapist walks into a bar He orders a drink He wakes up the next morning naked on a hot chick He leaves not realizing that he is nude and is promptly escorted by the police to jail

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Lady, calm down, you are missing out on the details here. We knew he was selling information as "The Wiz", from there on it was no problem tracking him down, but having us track him down at the core of Point Zero, would have dragged you all down with him, he was into sharing not only precious Intel, but also some sick shit, nobody is going to mourn him, and neither should you. We sent him a tip so he would get to some location where he would still be able to bypass the lockdown (easy to assume a little geek knows how to manage this), but a small anonymous tip would never have been enough to make him run for it, the next part was to make sure the info on his anonymous message, begin to come true. Sorry about the rest, I needed to know what position he had among "the Order", and he was shot down by a sniper, he knew too much, his involvement, and abilities as both a liar and a traitor, could easily have made it so he would have lied the blame on you, so he could have gone free. And believe me, this happens a lot, and is probably what happened to the old underground as well, think about it, you begin selling some dirty info videos, pictures of things nobody should see in the name of some "organization" (I have no idea what you call your thing, and it is best you never tell me). Then what is left? You claim the entire organization you work for, are the ones responsible for your dirty work, you tell your captors, and you go home rewarded with freedom taking the whole organization down with you, when in this case, the one that would have gone free, would have been the only one to blame. I know what the rest of you are doing, I mean I was part of its foundation years ago, and there is nothing illegal about it, yet people such as the feds would as they did, have brought the whole place down again, and as they had nothing to accuse us for back then other than "we do not like this", they never shared this to the mainstream media. Cant have that happening again, no matter the cost, and if you ask me, some small geek pedophile selling bullshit, should not blame you all, but die, that is justice. It was not "nice knowing me", we will meet again, I mean it, even if I have to get your cell number on "gray terms", you might not like it, but I will call you, on friendly terms of course. The setup is finished, got to go, cant sit here typing on my laptop anymore, gotta get back to the office.

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there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

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What has a skinny head and specky? Josh Moran.

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Lady: I think you guys would be very happy here. Chandler: No no no no no no! No, we're not together. We're not a couple, definitely not a couple! Joey: You seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you? Chandler: We're not going to have this conversation AGAIN!

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What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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