A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what should you say when your mates nan is in hospital with a broken leg??? ha ha my nan can stand up shes just genetically better

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Thank you so much Nero, I have read it and I am crying because I am happy, at first I was worried because I have never cried out of happiness before. But its over. Nero, you underestimate yourself a lot, promise me we will work with that together, sometimes you almost convince me you are as inferior as you say, but then you get out of your shell of doubt your past has caused in you (its not you when you doubt yourself its what they put in you), you are always there when people need you, teach me hypnosis someday and let me remove that part of you which does not allow you to believe in yourself. Dont reply Nero, calm down and sleep, I feel you are allright, I just know.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's brown and sticky? A Stick!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A father of four joins the military. He returns home after his service.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's hanging by a rope from the tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

You wanna hear a touching story? Once a pon a time you died. The end. (all anti jokes posted by me will be adressed with -blarg)

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What does a joke and an anti-joke have in common? Nothing, since "anti-" refers to the opposite of the word that it is modifying.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

yo mama has one big titty and one small titty and the call the bitch paul

thumb_up thumb_down -31

ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

i just got pulled over by a cop. he asked me if i had been drinking, i said no. he asked me to step out of my car so he could look inside i looked nervous, and had no other choice to step out. he knew there was something in there he looked in and saw it THE REFRIDGERATOR

thumb_up thumb_down -31

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia Poem make YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. Heavy rain came down and killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did Bob get off the swing? Because he was done.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm only 13 so if you have sex with me it's illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like trains (:

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops