roses are red orchids are black I like you best when you lye on your back

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Roses are red violets are green i can't rhyme bridge

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What's the difference between a black cat and a black cat? Nothing.

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Q. How many people use MySpace? A. Pfft who uses MySpace

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And the guy who played Trapper John on MASH wins the coveted 'Last Famous TV Person to Die in 2015' award!!! Woooooooo!!!!

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

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-Why did the man sue the train driver after he witnessed his friends death? -Because he was owed a duty of care.

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What is worse then finding an apple in your worm? Not a lot.

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Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

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What did the framer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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Roses are red violets are blue you better run I see you

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Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

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an ethopian thanksgiving

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What do you call a white guy with no friends? A white guy with no friends

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How do you know if your friend is dead? You shoot him in the face!

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey

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Yo mammas so stupid she has a profound intellectual disability.

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roses are red violets are too im bleeding

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why did the Mexican shoot himself? because his wife miscarried, hung herself, and his oldest brother had cancer. also when he was 5, his parents died in a car accident, leaving his abusive uncle to care for him. he also had erectile dysfunction which caused him severe pain. did i mention he was an illegal, homeless immigrant who was addicted to methamphedimine and owed several million dollars to a man who repeatedly raped him anally? he was.

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I think I am done here friend, it always comes to this, it has always been easier for me to repair whatever is wrong with others and get my kicks out of that, as I know I can and will repair everything wrong with myself, but its hard as hell, I mean I never give up, ever. But that does not change the fact that I am broken, and that simply deciding that I am not, is far from enough, its a choice indeed, but its like deciding to constantly walk trough hell, and sometimes that hell is also called living, that too is always a choice, And believe me, I would never quit, I guess that if this hell I struggle trough has so many nice things in it, it just feels like hell at times. I mean the main motivation behind my ability to help others, has always been searching for answers low and high, and when what I have learned trough life helps others, but barely scratches the surface of the armor I am confined within, I lose hope, do you believe that my desire to help humanity grow, derived from my own incompetence at curing myself?

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what did the dead man say to the other dead man ...nothing he's dead.

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What are the seven wonders of Kentuky cows,drugs,liquor,moutain due,moster trucks,shot guns and trucks oh and I for got Crackle barrle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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