Why did the man wear his jacket because he was cold

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What would you do if the house you're sitting in now exploded? Nothing really, you would have died a horrible death.

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A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

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What's worse than finding a hair in your soup? Slavery.

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A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

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What's a pirates favorite element the periodic table? Gold.

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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why did the chicken cross the bread? because chicken salad

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What did the walrus say to the Penguin. It said MAHHRGH. because walruses can't really talk

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Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

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Bariande: I have a belly button Kraken: haha who doesnt? MissAwkward: i dont Barinade: neither do i. haha this happened on tiny chat.

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A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

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Q- Who is the life of the party? A- hannah schane

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This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

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why was 7 afraid of 8, cause 8,9,10

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I have aids

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Nero, thank you for this opportunity, I desire to join the shadows, I left a thumbs up. Michelle

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"? Very similar to the definition of a shame, but moreso.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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Why isn't pluto a planet anymore? Nasa decided it was too small

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Butt poop.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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What is the pirate's favorite letter? Z.

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Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd have thought one of them would have seen it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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