Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

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i like going to public parks and watching the kids run and yell because they dont know im using blanks

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

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What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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What's worse than finding an apple in your apple Finding a black guy in your school

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why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

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What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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Why did the angry kid press the button? The button said "press here angry kid"

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

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Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

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What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

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Whats the difference between a muslim and a christian? They believe in different things.

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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