What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

"Merry Christmas, Mom! My gift to you is...ME!" "I brought you into this life you disrespectful brat!" He then proceeds to a cliff.

Why do Asian men love noodles? Noodles are delicious!

Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

Knock knock. Who's there? A bad joke.

an emo girl walked into a white room

why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

Why did the blond have a wierd look on her face? Because she was ugly

NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my dick wile i do it

Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

(Knocks on Helen Keller's door) You: Knock knock Helen:....

How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

People are like trees. When hit multiple times with an ax they fall down.

hashtags suck balls

Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? A gameboy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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