What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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God wrote this joke.................................

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What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

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Guest what? Dog

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Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

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Your mums a potato

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Doctor" "Interrupting Doc-" "You have Cancer'

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

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what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

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VITAMIN C!

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

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Why was the man sad? His wife left

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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