Why is the alien dead as a door-nail? Because the door-nail was never alive nor could it ever be dead therefore the alien must have never existed just like the life and death of the door-nail.

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Chuck Norris is so strong that he could bench almost 250 pounds in his heyday.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? The light was red, which prompted the chicken to cross safely.

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A horse walks into a bar. Just kidding, it's a panda.

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Did you know that all of the seasons are named after coils of metal? Except Winter... And Autum... And Summer...

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Why did little Suzy fall of the Swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

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How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

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Harry Potter: Hey voldemort, you wanna go get our noses pierced?? Voldemort: I killed your parents.

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Don't make jokes about the Holocaust. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off a watchtower.

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Wanna here a funny joke? Will is straight HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hes gay

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whats worse than a pile of dead babies?...... A carrot

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Q: What did the passengers think of thier Chineese bus driver? A: They were very pleased with the bus driver's service, for he was a very safe driver and got them to their destination on time.

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What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? A long sleeve shirt

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why does beyonce sing " to the left, to the left"? - cause black people have no rights

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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whats worse than killing people that have bags on their heads? finding out that the people that u have just killed were your own children.

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What is is one good thing about global Waming? Nothing.

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A sheep croses the road It gets hit by a car.

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A father was driving with his son. The Son asked " have you been in a car accident in the past 10 years"? The father replys " did you know you HAD 4 siblings"?

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whats worse than the smell of nail polish? burning jews.

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"Do you know the joke about the No and Me Neither?" "No..." "Me neither."

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What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

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Jimmy can't drive the tractor. Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he's a patato

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What did the little girl say after her dad hit her? Nothing. She was a month old and died instantly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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