Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the Chicken say to the Turkey Nothing, Chickens don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A person who doesn't know hungarian is trying to read the next sentence. Sajnos nem érti, mivel nem tud magyarul.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the Elephant say the other Elephant? We do not know. Their vocalization is still a mystery to us.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: How many children did it take to screw in a light bulb? A: The light bulb was already screwed in and exploded after excessive tampering

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

thumb_up thumb_down +11

knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man was walking down the street in the pitch black dark and he looked into a pitch black dark window. What did he see? Pitch black dark people.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why girl die cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Where did Sarah go when the bomb exploded? A: Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two scientists are working in a lab. The first one asks, "Do you want some sodium?" The second one pours acid into the first one's eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Terry was always struggling with mathematics. On his last report card he received a D- in math. His parents were naturally very upset with him because they knew their son could do much better and so did Terry. Terry wanted to make his parents proud so he buckled down and started studying on a regular basis. Terry realized his had work had payed off when his 3rd grade teacher handed him his report card. Terry had revived an A in math! On his walk home from school all he could think about was how proud his mom and dad were going to be. On that walk home Terry was savagely torn apart by an escaped lion from the local zoo. His head was never found.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your moma is so nasty. And one day she had a geust over and the geust says " May I use the restroom?" Yes but make sure you use the coffe can to the right because the letf one is full.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A bug in your nut.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was six afraid of seven. It wasnt because numbers cant possible show emotions. I

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You're as useful as Baby P's dummy.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder and help him down

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops