Q: how do u wake lady gaga up? A: you poke-poke poke her face.

Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? None, for the task at hand is so simple, you should do it.

Q: What's grey and rocky? A: A grey rocking hair

A group of Germans eagerly await the FIFA football rankings. England is fourth.

What do you do to become a hairdresser? Set Off the fire alarm

what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

Why didn't Anne Frank ever leave the attic? She did.

Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

what did the kid with no head get for his birthday? A coffin.

wanna hear a joke? woman's rights.

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

whats worse than a paper cut? getting your head chopped off

rocky is staring at us from outside...

Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the world. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

Do gingers have souls ? No, Gingers are a myth made up in the 13th centuary to scare little kids.

how many licks does it take to get too the tootsie center of a tootsie pop. Well it depends on how you eat it, there is always the option of biting it, so there is no defined answer, as well as ones lick might absorb more of the lollipop then another mans.

What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like rhymes Penis

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

What do you call a blonde with a broken arm? A cripple.

three blondes are walking along the beach on a desert island, they each have plans to escape. The first swims off the island but is swept in with the current back to land The second blonde burns an SOS into the sand using a rock and twigs-the wind blows it out The third, realising how immature her freinds were, reaches into her pocket and pulls out her mobile phone and begins dialling the coast guard.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...