Man #1: What was the hardest part about watching that kid get hit by that bus? Man #2: My dick...

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Why couldn't the dwarf mother reach for the top shelf? Her height was at a mini-mum.

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Evidently, in order to get any person of an object (most notably a swing) you must hit them with some form of large and/or sharp object.

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What do you call an asian with a small penis? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

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Why the USA support the 'Kony 2012'? For Oil

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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Michel Moor on a die...

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What do you call a Christmas tree with lights on it? A Christmas tree with lights on it.

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What's the difference between the son of a prostitute and Luke Skywalker? Luke knew who his father was.

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What did hitler say to Osama Bin Laden? Nothing they were born at different times

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How did the man get arested? For doing something leagle.

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Nick Cannon

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What's funnier than slapping a girl? Calling the cops on the person who slapped her.

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What's worse than a gay joke? Their emotional repercussions, leading to a lack of self-esteem, which eventually drives the homosexual to commit suicide, leaving behind a now destroyed family.

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What's greasier than a baby? A burger

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What do you call a hit and run victim with multiple injuries? An ambulance.

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So a moose, a deer, and a horse walk into a bar. One of the people at the bar was a hunter who was carrying his gun. Several people got up and left after they realized the potential danger of the situation.

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Harry Potter: Hey voldemort, you wanna go get our noses pierced?? Voldemort: I killed your parents.

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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Q:What did sandy say to spongebob A:Nothing they were both crushed by the water pressure of being at the bottom of the ocean ni,gger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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