Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

A baby seal walked into a club.

Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

A horse walks into a bar, it gets a concussion. -mattobrado

Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

knock knock. who's there thatsron thatsron who thatsron man

What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

Why did Suzy's neck hurt? Because it was broken

knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

ROB SNIEDER ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS A CAARRRRROT! rated pg-13

You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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