What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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Grandma walked into the kitchen...

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Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

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national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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why did the black guy win a gold medal in the olympics? hard work, dedication and determanation! what no one else can be bothered to do anymore because of all this new technology and stuff!! get of your arse and do something active. NOW!

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why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

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Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

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what is faster than a cheetah? i dont know what? if i knew why would i be asking..

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What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

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Why does my ass hurt I played gmod with a blackpeople

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ALL OF YOU NO MORE CURSING EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT POSSABLE SO DON'T LISTEN

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

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In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

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Q.Want to hear somthing that will never happen A. Sure A. the Houston Astros won a game.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What kind of society have we created that a chicken can't even cross a road without his motives being questioned?

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Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

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your momma is so poor she had you just for the free milk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops