how come jenny could not fall asleep? their was a man standing outside her window holding a knife

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

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There's 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving. Probably one of the 2 men.

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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Once a upon of time, cow said chicken go cluck. Years later, mustard was like a ketchup. I said it was good. Oh yea baby. It was a good day.

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what did eric foreman get for christmas? a foot in his ass.

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What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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Two homosexuals are making love in the kitchen. One leaves for a bit and says, "Dont finish without me." Upon returning, white goo is spattered across the floor. Concerned that the clumsily dropped icing may stain, they promptly clean it.

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence in prison.

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Why does austin bell like it up the butt? Cause he's a cat a kitty cat meow meow meow and meow meow meow

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

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what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercourse? I have aids

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A man walked into a bar. He was accused of being to drunk to drive so someone called a cab for him and he was forced to leave.

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What do an onion and a hamster have in common? They are both in my Grandma's omelette.

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* two sisters are making yo mama jokes* * mom turns around* mom: Hey yo mama so stupid ... sister one: ummmm.... sister two: sure thats not you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops