If I met your mom before you was born, you would still be born.

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that's just been shot.

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What's ugly and has shit smeared over its teeth? Smelly McD (He also wears bin bag clothes)

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whats 7+4? 74

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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What is worse than the holocaust Nothing it was fine with the Jews in camps burning and dying

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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A Mexican man, an American man, and an Italian man go to a bridge. The mexican said "we have too much of this in our country!" and throws pasta into the water. The Mexican man says "we have to much of this in out country!" and throws a taco into the water. The American throws in the Mexican man and says "we have to much of these in our country!"

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's treehouse? No. It's quite nice, her father made it himself.

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what do u do if a women serves you lunch in the living room? u tighten the chain!!!!!!

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Why didn't the vampire go to the Garlic festival? Because it sucks.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

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Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by jimmy savile.

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What are the similarities between aaron ash and a cow? they both have 7 stomachs.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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A man is taking a shower in jail where he drops the soap. He proceeds to pick the soap up and cleans the rest of his body, puts his orange jumpsuit on and returns to his cell.

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What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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