How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

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Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

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How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

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What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

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a dog walk into a landmine, he exploded.

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A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

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Hey i just met you & this is crazy but Nia and Goober Made a baby

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Why can't blondes change a lightbulb? Because they're women

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Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

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Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

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What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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A straight black man walks into a gay bar.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

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A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

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Why were the babies used for target practice? Hitler demanded the Nazis to do so.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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Why a warm-harted man turned into cold-blooded? He's dead

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Why mommy upset cause wet and sticky make mommy upset

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So there's this boy who really love clowns. His room is adorned with circus and clown posters and his one dream is to go to a circus and see a clown. One day he sees an ad in the newspaper for a circus that was headed toward his town. He begged and pleaded to his parents to let him go, and when they finally agreed he was ecstatic. The boy was in awe of all the things that the circus held, elephants, lions, tightrope walkers and trapeze artists, but there was nothing he was more excited for then the main show with the clowns. He took a seat and out came the clown on a unicycle. The boy was having the time of his life, when the clown suddenly called for someone from the audience. The boy immediately ran to the center of the stage. The clown asked the boy "Are you a horse's head?" then held the mic to the boy. "No," he replied. "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" The crowd erupted in laughter and the boy was mortified. He ran out of the circus tent and vowed never to return. He grew up with a hatred for clowns and even had to see multiple therapists. 30 years passed and the boy was now a man. The man looked in his morning paper, only to see that a circus was in town. He decided he would visit one last time. There it was, the elephants and tightrope walkers. And then he saw it, the same clown from 30 years ago in the same show. He walked up and the clown asked the same questions. "Are you a horse's head?" "No." "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" Then man the took the microphone from the clown and said, "Screw you clown."

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What's 2+2? It's certainly not 1.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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