Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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whats red and can fall on you blood from a hunted duck.

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Bob fell off his roof.

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Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

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What's black and hangs from trees? tires ...and black people

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Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

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What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

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Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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Why did the black man die? He drove off a cliff.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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A woman's opinion

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

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A man walking on a beach looks into the surf and sees a beautiful oil lamp floating to shore. Wondering who in the heck uses oil lamps anymore, he picks it up, sees a bit of crust on the side, and rubs it clean. Just then a burst of smoke comes out of the lamp, and a genie floats out and stands before the man. "Oh master, thank you for releasing me from the lamp. In thanks, I grant to you one wish. Anything you ask for, it will be true," said the genie. "One wish? What happened to three," asked the man. "Dude, don't push it. We're in a recession. So what's your wish?" "OK. OK. I ... I... I WISH I WAS RICH!" screamed the man. The genie folded his arms, blinked twice, scratched his nose, nodded his head, and spun in a circle twice. "And it is SO!" he cried out. The man looked at himself, looked at the genie, but nothing seemed to have changed. "WTF, genie. Am I rich?" The genie replied, "Well no. You said, 'I wish I was rich.' I made you rich... ten years ago. You were rich. Now you're not. You used the indicative mood 'was.' If you wanted it to become true now in the present, you should have used the subjunctive mood 'were.'"

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Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

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How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

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A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

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How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

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Are You McDonalds Because I'm Loving It

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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