what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

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I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

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Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Your Mama is so poor. I begin to worry about you and your familys' finacial situation.

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Why was the asian guy's eyes slanted? Your question is a very valid one that most people often wonder, but never really ask. It's called an epicanthal fold...please, NOT "slanted eyes". Many people consider this to be a derogatory description of the descendents or those of Eastern Asia (as do I, being half Korean), but most people are unaware of this and say it anyway. I'll assume you didn't know this. :) The epicanthal fold (what we have) is something that all babies are born with, but those who may not be of Eastern Asian origin will eventually lose. The purpose of this "fold" is to protect the eyes from extreme sunlight and cold weather. Most people of the this part of Asia originated in Mongolia where the weather conditions were very cold and harsh. Also, with most of this population, you'll notice that there exists some extra padding below the eyes as well. With all that white snow and the sunlight reflecting off of it, don't you think with time our bodies would develop some sort of defense for one of our most valued senses--our sight? It makes sense, doesn't it? Also, notice, that the farther south you travel in Eastern Asia the "rounder" the eye gets (their is less evidence of the epicanthal fold), since the climate gets warmer the farther south you go. Evolution, baby. So, Eastern Asian eyes are NOT really slanted. They just appear to be. Instead they just have that extra fold above the eyes that make them appear "thinner", if you will. If you want to sound halfway intelligent, please don't use the description "slanted eyes" anymore, since this will only make you seem like somewhat of a bigot (racist). (You might say it around the wrong person one day.) Sorry, but I'm just trying to give you some good advice. I hope I helped.

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A black guy and a Mexican jump off a bridge. Who dies first? Nobody cares.

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Yo mama so fat that her weight is starting to tear her and your father apart.

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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Why did the man eat the apple? Because he was hungry.

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Why did our black president put a porch swing on the white house? He likes to swing.

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Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

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A fish walks into a bar

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What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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What has two wheels, two arms, and a head? A man in a wheelchair. Why was he in a wheelchair? He stepped on a landmine. A man walks, I'm sorry rolled, into a bar.

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What's huge, gray, and has a trunk and wings. An elephant with wings glued to it.

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an invisible man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. No one noticed him cause hes invisible

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He do you get an emo kid to stop cutting himself? Take away his knife.

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Then there was that caveman that ordered a whiskey on the rocks...

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a pony? A mule

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it damn well felt like it.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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