"I can't wait to eat this bagle!" "Yes you can." "Yeah, I guess you're right."

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Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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I hope you take your own wise words to heart Nero, how would you like to claim to be me and get our ship somewhat on land before it all goes to pieces? After all I have been claiming to be you for a long long time.

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whats the main reason Mexicans have legs? so they can stand.

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Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

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Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

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why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

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Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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What do you call a retarded man? Mentally challenged.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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What does a turkey do? I don't know I'm not a turkey

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why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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Yee

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A BABY seal walks into a club

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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