how many blondes does it take to fix a lightbulb? 764,983,792,545,653,

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What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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Knock Knock. "Who's there?" The cops.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

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what did the 35 year old man say when he walked in his home last night? Nothing, he started crying because he saw that someone had viciously killed his guinea pig.

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A guy walks into a bar. Ouch

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When Life throws you lemons you might be hallucinating

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Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

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What did the rainbow sun say to the flower-faced elephant? "Want some tea and hamsters?" I'm addicted to acid.

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what did one lady say to another lady? we are both ladies

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Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

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hi hi strager danger

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face." the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer."

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hi, im sober.

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What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

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My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

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Why wouldn't the girl clean her room? She was paralyzed.

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What did zero say to ten? I see you found someone

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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Person 1: Your Ugly Person 2: Your mom's ugly

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they're already smart enough to achieve interplanetary space travel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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