why did the boy fall down? he was shot

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Ted Haggard.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Tony Blair, Micheal Jordan, Fabrice Muamba, Aunty Josephine, Nick Clegg, David Cameron, and myself all go out for drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

thumb_up thumb_down -30

you want to hear a joke? the goverment.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A. Hey.. B. Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A priest walks into a bar, which is suprising because priests don't usually go to bars.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The sons of modern psychology: COCAINE MOTHERF8CKERS! COMING OUT IN YOUR CINEMA RENTAL STORE YESTERDAY! Sold out. (yesterday)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how long has dibey got left like :)

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops