whats Mario's favorite kind of jeans? Denim, denim, denim.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

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There is a new film coming out, it is a re-make of "Fatal Attraction" The only difference is, it is about two tonnes of antimatter... [L]

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What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

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How many chicken feathers are there in a 50 pound bag? 50 pounds worth Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a duck Why did the man cross the road? It was duck season A woman is dying but can't reach her husband. Why? A duck ate his cell-phone A pig walks into a bar but there is no bartender. Where is she? Dead A duck hunter is selling a duck to a man. The man only pays the duck hunter a quarter. Why? It was full of chicken feathers.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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knock knock piss off

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I'M THE GRAPIST!! I'M GONNA GRAPE UR MOM AND UR DAD AND UR WHOLE FAMILY!!!

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What do you call a mexican doing drugs? An average pablo

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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If she is under the age of 18 years old and is identified by your state as a minor, shes too young for you bro.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. Because, often, friends go out together in social situations.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your landlord. Get the hell out.

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What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

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How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

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Why was Steve hungry? Because the last time he ate was yesterday.

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Roses are Purple Chickens are gray I'm color blind You have cancer I'll see you in hell Ba bye now

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A random guy walks into your house and says hi. You say SHUTUP

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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A man walks into a bar. The bar is closed and the man is a thief. The police are promptly called in fear that the situation may become increasingly dangerous.

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Why is a banana yellow? I don't know, ask a scientist, stupid

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what's worse than getting a paper cut? Hiroshima

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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