Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. There's a massive earthquake and the bar collapses to the ground, killing everyone inside.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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Yo mama is so stupid, she has a sub-par intelligence quota.

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Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

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What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

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Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

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Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

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Are You McDonalds Because I'm Loving It

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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