whats red and can fall on you blood from a hunted duck.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being disabled.

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How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

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What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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What happened when the asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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Yo mama is so stupid, she has a sub-par intelligence quota.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

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What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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