I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

385

knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

Bob fell off his roof.

When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being disabled.

What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

Fags are gay.

Q: What do you call a guy that likes men? A: Gay.

a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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