a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why didn't Joe have any friends? Because according to Thomas Hobbes man is anti-social by nature and therefore the only friends that he has are purely to reach his own ends and thus Joe cannot truly have friends in the sense that many use the word.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -122

What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

thumb_up thumb_down -144

A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

thumb_up thumb_down +85

An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +41

So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Hide him under your coat.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

whats red and can fall on you blood from a hunted duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

thumb_up thumb_down -39

You're a wizard Harry! I am?

thumb_up thumb_down -51

What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

thumb_up thumb_down -105

Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

thumb_up thumb_down -181

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +176

What's the easiest way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops