How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

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Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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Fags are gay.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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What's worse than the Broncos losing the Superbowl? Your iPhone not working anymore

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Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a black man A pizza can feed a family of four

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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why do bananas wear sunscreen? becuase they peel!

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Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops