One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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A bear walked into a bar, unfortunately there were no survivors.

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What did the kind hearted wolf do when he saw the small, helpless, fluffy bunny? He ate it.

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Darkness Falls Across The Land The Midnite Hour Is Close At Hand Creatures Crawl In Search Of Blood To Terrorize Y'awl's Neighbourhood And Whosoever Shall Be Found Without The Soul For Getting Down Must Stand And Face The Hounds Of Hell And Rot Inside A Corpse's Shell The Foulest Stench Is In The Air The Funk Of Forty Thousand Years And Grizzy Ghouls From Every Tomb Are Closing In To Seal Your Doom And Though You Fight To Stay Alive Your Body Starts To Shiver For No Mere Mortal Can Resist The Evil Of The Thriller

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Oh yeah? Well you're as gay as this joke!

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Whats worse than 12 babys stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 12 trees!

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Knock knock. Who's there? The pizza delivery guy. Oh hi.

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What Batman Said to Robin before getting into the car? I'll drive.

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(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts What's worse than two holocausts? Twilight

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Why a blonde woman eat vegetables? Because she is a vegetarian.

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What's brown and dirty? Dirt.

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What's big and red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven looked angry and had a gun.

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Q. Whats green jumps up and down and then red? A.A frog in a mixer

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A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

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How do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? Push 1000 Ethiopians off a cliff

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Adam Chebali goes to war and is quickly killed. The rest of the world rejoices as he can no longer post anti-jokes only he thinks are funny and brag about himself on anti-joke.com.

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Why did the soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin

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A bar walks into a man... Wait...

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This would be racist to black people if they could read.

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I like my coffee like I like my women..... Without Hepatitis.

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What's worse than the holocaust? anti-joke

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Dude: Hey want to hear a joke? Other dude: What is it? Dude: Joke. Other dude: What? Dude: I don't know. That was a joke ladies an gentleman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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