What happened the the blonde that went swimming? She cooled off and enjoyed a hot summer day.

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That's not what she said.

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Why does an actor enjoy his work so much? Because it’s all play.

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Q: What is the difference between a Ginger and a shoe? A: A shoe has a sole

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Why did a Monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

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What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

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There's two homosexuals having sex in the back of a van...........they're over 21 what's wrong with that!

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Sucks to be a fish.

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what did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? cancer

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

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What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

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How old is your mom? Old.

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ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

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Roses are red, Violets are BLACK!

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What worse than rain Osama Bin Laden

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why did the murder walk up to the lady in the car? It was his mom.

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Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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My mom fell on our cat and it died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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