Why is Tom Garrick gay Answer- Because he is

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What is large, white, and can't climb trees? A refrigerator.

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I forgot how to throw a boomerang and then it came back to me.

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What do you call a man with no arms? A cripple.

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Why was the old man on the floor? He fell

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a fat man walks into a bar and gets laughed at because his shoes are untied

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why did the puppy poop? he had too

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What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

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What do you call a hard working black man? A hard working black man.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, black kid get for Christmas? Modern Warfare 3.

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do want to hear a joke? Women's rights

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What do a magazine and a banana have in common? They both have pages, except for the banana.

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your mom died.

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He got cancer.

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What is the secret to winning football games? Score the most points.

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A duck quacks in a mountain range. No one on or nearby the mountains hears the duck because ducks' quacks don't echo.

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Women's sports.

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Why was the Black Panther upset? Because racial tensions were high in the 60s.

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What did the fat man with scissors do? Cut off the foreskin of your penis.

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your mumma so fat she ate a horse and she still had room for dinner

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Shoulda had a V8 ...or not because I am severely allergic to tomato's.

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What does an unemployed black man and a mexican have in common? They both like to shop at forman mills because they have reasonably priced clothing items.

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What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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