Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your mama's so fat that she killed herself because she was so depressed about her weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

25

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into the bar and ask the bartender for a shot of vodka. He drinks the vodka.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? She had no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Just finished taking a huge $hit, wiped my ass, then realized I wasn't done.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

So this beautiful woman goes to see her doctor and says "Doctor i think i have a fever." the doctor replies "I think I've got just what you need. open your mouth." The woman opened her mouth and the doctor gave her some Advil "This should help your fever. that will be $300." in shock the woman said "these prices are to high."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did the chicken cross the road? I Lied, it was a cow not a chicken and it was a highway full of speeding cars slamming into the cow body until it would stop moooooooooooooooooving...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the boy stuck? He's under a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Ron Paul for President!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you find out how many Mexicans are living in the United States? Take a Census.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

God said onto john "come forth and receive eternal life" john came fifth and received a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Jake was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. His wife looks down and sees a scale.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Jesus sacrificed his life to prove that he was immortal. So where does the part where he gets nailed to a stick and beaten the shit out of fit in?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

rebecca is a hard worker

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did schlomo fall off the swing He lost balance because Muslims threatened to kill him

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a smart blond? A golden retriever!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

your girlfriend is so dumb she is clinically retareded

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why doesnt jesus play hockey? he got nailed to the boards

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops