Knock knock. Who's there? Apple. Apple who? Apple juice.

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selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted of in space.

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Why are Asians good at math? Because coincidentally many are interested in it and study a lot.

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What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

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what's the fastest way to have someone murder you tell your wife you are cheating on her

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Why was timmy in the well? He had autism.

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What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

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wat is the difference between rainbows and poop? I LOVE RAINBOWS!

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Nero the guy that killed four Neo Nazi`s desecrating the funeral of one of my late members in Chile with a revolver hidden in one of the 46 hidden pockets on the inside of his trench jacket with lots of folders here, inside whose only side effect is making me look like I spend a lot more time at the gym, later one of them found me, ran towards the police which laughed at him pointed at me and said: That guy with a prosthetic arm? You dont believe me... Excellent! Nero The Avenger

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Oh my God! A talking dog!

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How did the black man get put in jail? He didn't, he never did anything illegal

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so theres this big moose, and it walks into a convenience store and asks the lady bitch "where are the potatoes?" and she says "ehh, down aisle 5" so he goes down isle five, and there aint no potatoes

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Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

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How do you get a Black Person out of a tree? Well, if he is stuck call 911 itmediatly!

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KNOCK! KNOCK! Who is it? Wood pecker. Wood pecker who? KNOCK! KNOCK!

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"Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it; I tried to be chill, but then I realized that when used as an adjective, 'chill' refers to the temperature." -Jason Mraz

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A black man walks in to a bar and says ouch! A jewish man walks in to a bar and later sews that same bar for he and the black mans injurys.

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How are a dead chicken and a woman alike? They both belong in the kitchen

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Why didn't the caterpillar turn into a butterfly? Because it was a cheeto

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Q: what the apple say to the orange? A: nothing because there fruits and fruits cant talk

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

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Once upon a time there was man named Bob. He liked bacon. So he ate some. And he like it. So he got some more and ate it. Then he went an played THE GAME.

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What did the ketchup say to the mustard? Nothing they're just condiments.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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