Why was the black man hand cuffed by a woman cop? Because they are a married couple who feel like role play will help spark their sex life again.

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Why are tootsie rolls brown? because they are....

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Violets are red. Roses are blue. I am drunk, and i'm about to spew.

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What do you call a penis without hair? Apple sause

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What did the rapist say before the little girl got in the van? Get in the van

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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What's purple and gross? Purple gross stuff

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What starts with 'P' and ends with 'orn'? Popcorn.

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A guy trips a blind man.

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Why did Kurt Cobain commit suicide? Because it was drug related

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What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Does it matter why, it just did.

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what did the chinese guy say to the black guy? hello

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Where is the last place you would find a Mexican? In a good hiding spot that you didn't think of while trying to find him.

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kieran scott has a huge back

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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Why did the man paint his dog blue? He has some strange mental condition and is incapable of controlling his own actions.

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What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

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What did the dyslexic say to the nun? When I write, I typically misplace letters in words.

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

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Some peoples attempts at being funny on this website are the stupidest things i have ever read.

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Nobody enjoys your company. Nobody likes your work. Nobody loves you. There is no person who's name is legitimately nobody.

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What happens when you lose your fish? It dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops