What's spotty, can be found everywhere and is largely unpopular? Nothing.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's purple and gross? Purple gross stuff

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

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What happened when the homosexual man came out of the closet? He was congratulated for winning the hide and seek contest.

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What starts with 'P' and ends with 'orn'? Popcorn.

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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Q: What did the peanut say to the shell? A: Its dark in here.

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what did the chinese guy say to the black guy? hello

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What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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A man has only two fingers on one hand, and everybody calls him two-fingered Mike. Why? Because his fingers were lost in a tragic accident at birth, and his parents, who were considering calling him Mike, decided to lengthen the name because it seemed appropriate.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they are all dead.

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What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

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My penis is so big that some women find it uncomfortable.

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Why did Alex die? He choked on a semi truck

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Life gave me onions. Onionaide Sucks

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Type 2 diabetics

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

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homework

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!

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Why was the young Jewish boy afraid at camp? Because his scoutmaster is a pedophile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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