A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Your mom walked into a bar and got kicked out cause there's no dogs allowed.

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What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them

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What do you call a baby in a blender? Child abuse.

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After the haitian revolution, Haiti lived happily ever after, Until god smited them with a devastating natural disaster

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There's two homosexuals having sex in the back of a van...........they're over 21 what's wrong with that!

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A Mexican, an Asian, a black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a hispanic............... i forgot.

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What do you call it when the sh*t hits the fan? The sh*t hits the fan.

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Neither does he.

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Snow White found a magic lamp in the middle of the forest. She rubbed it and became pregnant because the spout was a penis.

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what did the blind deaf orphan get for christmas? cancer

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

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Where did the watch-dog take the blind man on Saturday afternoon? Wherever the blind man wanted to go

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What did the Mexican say when a house fell on him? Nothing. He's dead.

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How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

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Sac

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How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

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Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

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A black man, a jew, and an atheist are on a boat. Suddenly the boat started sinking. A mermaid would only save two of them. who do did she save? Mermaids don't exist. The all died. They were my friends.

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What happens when you lose your fish? It dies.

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Why did the white man go to jail? He broke the law.

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the hea repeatedly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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