A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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What is similar about a goose and newly weds? They both aren't chairs

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was tied to the first Monkey. Why did the third Monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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Tell you something funny.

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Sticks and stones can break my bones Well maybe you shouldn't play in the tree anymore

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Redneck girls. Now there's a joke.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Apple. Apple who? Apple juice.

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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A black man walks into a bar and says, "ouch."

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Ask me if I'm a tree... Are you a tree? No.

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What is Ciaran Wilkie Gay

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What did one Chinese man say to the other? ?????

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my uncle tommy is super religious. last month he's walking down the street, he gets mugged and shot in the chest. now miraculously (and i mean miraculously), he always keeps a bible in his left chest pocket. and he had something to read as he bled to death.

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how do you start a stamped in mexico roll a nickle down the street sad thing is you just lost a nickle

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What's the difference between a rock and a baby? You can't have sex with the rock.

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A horse walks into a mans house. The man wonders how the horse got into his house.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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What's funnier than 68 69

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So there is a white guy and a jewish guy walking, they find a penny on the ground who takes it? The white guy because he is in debt.

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You know what's better than a taco? A better taco.

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From the makers of Call of Duty 1, comes Call of Duty 2.

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Q: What's Black and White and Red All Over? A: This is a logical fallacy. If something is "Red All Over," it is implied that no other color can be showing. Thus, whatever innate Black and/or Whiteness was formerly attributed to said object will now have been inherently obfuscated by its Redness.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But iI'm on bath salts and your face looks tasty!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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