Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I Stumbled this site and then read some antijokes, then I wrote a antijoke but I couldn't write a antijoke because their Terms of Service were down so then I lied to them saying I've read their Terms of Serivce and then I lied again, told them I were human, argued by saying "barnote plate" to them. They accepted.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's big and white?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she fell out the window and landed in soot.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the Chinaman say to the other Chinaman? I dont know, he was speaking in Chinese.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

The time and place do not matter because I'm a lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

The person below me is weird.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How to make Ramen like a boss Step 1: get a promotion

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Paper shield.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the white father tell his mexicon son and his wife as he left for work bye

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's black, white, and red all over? An ovulating mulatto woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

roses are red leather is black when when god made you he was smoking crack

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Wanna hear something funny? Sure. Okay,cool

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme but this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the Mexican stop mowing the family's lawn? Because he felt it was time for his son to learn some responsibility.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I like my 40's like I like my women, in ABUNDANCE.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's green and red and goes a hundred miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q: What did the dumb blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios? A: Look! Donut seeds!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

thumb_up thumb_down -30

If Michael Jackson was alive we would who cares he is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A woman walks into a bar and hits it off beautifully with the young man sitting close to her. They exchange numbers, and even a small kiss before she departs. He follows her home and eats her.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops