Q: What did the guy with glasses say to the guy without glasses? A: Dude your not wearing glasses.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Women.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What has 7 mouths 3 eyes and 5 noses Something very ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A mormon walks into a bar. He orders a caffeine free Coke.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the man full? He ate a meal.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Wats rong with yo leg.....

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Blarg, with ritalin everything tastes like cardboard, but on the bright side I can taste, lucky me I am so handsome the ones that attacked us did not want to ruin "my pretty face", so I just got a few cuts before I broke his, they never see a steel fist arriving you know... Listen, you are wrong, you gotta think less about me, and much more about yourself, you feel like you should worry more about me emotionally, but worry about your feelings more despite that because I can more or less hear your body saying "please take care of me", I mean I can more or less hear the urges and needs of women, thats why I am so good around them, I dont put them in a trance "vampire style" i just make them feel safe around me because it is safe around me, I am safe at all times because I am who I am. Listen, worry about your needs, turn of all mental alarms, I can sense (I dont know how, Richard Bandler put that into me) that you are in lack of sleep, food and sleep (I can sense it now, you havent slept well since you thought I was dead, it makes logical sense, it always does, its not magic, its the human potential unleashed) So take care of yourself, turn of your body`s needs one by one, shower, eat, drink (eat something good), and if you are at the couch, go get a pillow and lie down, this is about you, because I cant feel well if those I love and care about dont feel well okay? Please allow me to sleep easily and try getting some sleep yourself even if my guys are 15 minutes away. Let me know that you feel better.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There was a black man and a mexican woman at a bar. The women says, "Why are all racial jokes about men?" The black man replies, "Because it is believed by some that males are superior to women." The woman went to go order a book from amazon.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldn't the blonde bride make it to her own wedding? She had another unplanned circumstance occur and the wedding was postponed until next week.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Never mind, that was a stupid question.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock Who's there? Reality, we have come to install a doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock Whose there? Me! Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo mamma's so fat it's a legitimate medical condition

thumb_up thumb_down +4

1: Ask if I'm a truck. 2: Uh... Are you a truck. 1: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy scratch his back? A:because it was itchy.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a fine wine and a dead baby in a blender? One gets better as it ages, and the other is a horrific accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is the little boy so smart? He tries in school and hes asian

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's big, red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

there was a blind kid and a man wearing a WWJD & Livstrong bracelet touched his eyes and he could see. He wasn't used to the light and walked into traffic and died instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops