Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the monkey die? he was stapled to a grenade

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I am reading the Terms of Service, however I don't fully agree with it's contents.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the pear say to the plum? Nobody knows - the plum was deaf and didn't hear, the pear knows only dirty words in sign language, and there was nobody else around to overhear.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

you lose.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

redtube

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Donald Trump

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the woman get for Christmas? Cooking oil and a black eye.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and suffered from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his head, he is being treated by medical professionals

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the human stronger than the dog? Because the dog had four legs and a mouth and a human has 2 legs, 2 arms, and is taller. Therefore, the human has more capabilites than the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

TOBUSCUS

thumb_up thumb_down -2

crap!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A black man walks into a Ku Klux Klan meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q. What did the dog say to the cat? A. Ruff.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Wanna hear an anti-joke?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

knock knock Who's there? ... Hello?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats red and bad for your teeth... A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you stop the baby from touching the stove? Cut of its arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's silent but deadly? Limnic Eruption.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops