What did the mother get at the grocery store? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Jew? The Bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A woman walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

They see me rollin' Up my sleeve for some volunteer work at the local shelter

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's funnier than a dead baby? Everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why didn't peyton manning's grand mom call him after his game? She died of throat cancer 5 years ago

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why didn't the black guy where a seat belt? I don't know but he should've because hes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

captcha: all yer base

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Do you like cats? You gotta be kitten me.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the plane crash? because fenton was driving it..."THE DEER HAD TO DIE"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy running down a hill? Two good friends enjoying the countryside together.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

So this old redneck is sitting on his porch when he sees this boy walking down the road and hollers "What you got there boy?" "Chicken wire." "What you gonna do with that?" "Gonna catch me some chickens." The old guy thought: Dumb boy. You can't catch no chickens with chicken wire. Later that evening he sees the same boy walking with a bunch of chickens. The next day he sees the same boy walking with duct tape. "What you got there boy?" "Duct tape" The boy replies. "Gonna catch me some ducks." The old man leaned back and thought. "Dumb boy, you can't catch ducks with duct tape." Later that evening he sees the boy walking with a bunch of ducks. The next day he sees the same boy and hollers: "What you got there boy?" "I got me some pussy willow." The old man hollers: "Hold on, let me get my hat."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did the ginger say to the other ginger? I dont now i dont speak GINGER!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Guy 1: why are you such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most p***y

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why couldent the boy pick up the bunny? He had severe muscular distrophy, and couldent even lift a spoon to his mouth. let alone a bunny

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the T-rex say to the elephant? i like bananas

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the penguin die? He was anti-social and would rather die than huddle. So he died. THE END

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do u know a black woman is pregnant? When she pulls out a tampon it has no cotton on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

sometimes i wonder why is the frisbee getting bigger? then it hits me

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You know what they called Obama in highschool? Nigge*

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the skeleton stay home from the party He was buried in a coffin underground and, as a matter of fact, wasn't actually invited

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops